RIP Uncle Sam

We buried Uncle Sam a few days ago. I am not referring to the metaphorical incarnation of our nation but rather my actual uncle, Sam.

Well not my actual uncle. My mother's uncle, making him my great-uncle. Well, not actually my great-uncle, but a really great guy to be sure. He and Aunt Catherine, my mother's mother's sister, never married, so technically he wasn't my mother's uncle or my great-uncle. But he was the most significant person in Aunt Catherine's life for close to forty years. They never chose to have their love and commitment to one another sanctioned through any legal or religious ceremony. That, in my opinion, displays even more love and commitment. If someone can pack up and leave you at any time--without hiring a lawyer--then the fact that they stick around and put up with all your gross personal habits that they discover after you start living together really means something. I'm pretty sure that's why marriage was invented in the first place. So couples wouldn't split up when one of them realized that the other one picks his toenails in bed.
 


I never knew Uncle Sam that well. I saw him at family gatherings here and there, a couple times a year at most, and usually less. And to be perfectly honest, now that he has gone to his rest, I seldom understood what he was saying most of the time. He had a distinctive and priceless mumble that all but obscured his actual words. I eventually learned to just nod in support. Words, like marriage, are overrated and unnecessary. Sam always had a smile on his face, and smiles are much more important than crisp enunciation. If I could catch a word or two in there, that was enough.

Sam: Hyyahnnewdidddazeedduhgae? Hoowabooudahcatwimadducks? Thawazoomkatwhunit?

Me: (thinking. I think I heard him say Maddox. He must be talking about the Phillies game! (this was 30 years ago):

Yeah, I saw that catch. It was great!

People toss around the phrase "the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet" a little too liberally in my opinion, but I think it applied to Uncle Sam. Anyone nicer than that would just cross the line and be annoying as all hell. So damn the cliche! Full speed ahead! Sam was the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. 

Sam loved to golf. Here he is with a trophy. And a smile. 

I, along with everyone else, don't know what happens after we leave this realm of existence. Sam was a Catholic, so I can only imagine him in front of those pearly gates with Saint Peter serving as doorman, as per standard Catholic eschatology.

Saint Peter: Ok, sir. Just a few standard questions before we let you through.

Sam: Yuhdazzzzukie, sherizuhnyzplazeheuh. Yugoagolphupinheauh? I woodamine ittin ateeenolz.

Saint Peter: (boggles for a moment, then smiles and nods) Step right through sir. And enjoy your eternal reward. 


Rest in peace Uncle Sam. I hope they have golf in heaven.